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***keenspot_dropdown***	Fun Art!: Fun Fiction

Before it all Started by Kenny

Dec. 4, 1998 Mike should have been taking his quiz. He really should have. But he couldn’t concentrate until Seth Scott crapped his pants. Seth Scott was a not terribly bright football player who had gotten into college because of his athletic skills. He was big, loud and sometimes abrasive, and unfortunately for him, he had wound up with one Michael Green as his roommate. They had gotten along well, or as well as anyone got along with Mike, until two weeks earlier when Seth had borrowed twenty-five dollars from Mike without asking. Somehow that had escalated into a full-out prank war, a war which Seth was currently losing. Mike had spotted a lot of his traps, and he was ahead on successful pranks four to one. And that was going to change to five to one momentarily, although Seth didn’t know it yet. Ah, Ex-Lax. Where would I be without you? thought Mike, trying hard not to laugh out loud. Seth suddenly stopped working on his English quiz. An uncomfortable look passed over his face. Here we go. Showtime! thought Mike. Seth’s look changed from discomfort to indecision as he debated whether or not he should stay seated or leave for the bathroom and get a zero on the quiz. Then he shot up out of his desk and sprinted to the door, hoping desperately to at least get out of the classroom before nature called. He almost made it. Mike covered his head with his hands, making a desperate attempt to suppress his laughter. The classics really are the best, Mike thought. He sat back up and went to work on his quiz. * * * Seth stood in the bathroom stall, thinking over the day’s events. There was no doubt what had happened, Mike had somehow slipped a laxative into his coffee. Seth had even waited until Mike had drank some of the coffee himself before he dared to pour himself a cup; he had no idea how Mike could have pulled it off. It was becoming clear to Seth that Mike was too smart for him to face. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if Mike didn’t feel he had to strike back against pranks that weren’t even successful. He’d anticipated almost all of his plans, including the Nair Seth had put in the shampoo, and the chili powder Seth had put in his freakin’ Winnie-the-Pooh briefs (Of course he anticipated it, how could he not sniff it out with that huge-ass shnozz of his? thought Seth bitterly), and he still took it upon himself to make Seth pay for it. No, clearly he wouldn’t be able to think up something that Mike would be able to spot immediately. Besides, a mere prank wasn’t going to be good enough for a transgression this big. This went beyond retaliation; now it was time for revenge. * * * “So, that finishes today’s lesson on gravitation,” concluded Professor Surace. “Any questions?” “Yeah,” said Roger. “Can we go now?” Roger asked the professor this question constantly, and it was starting to get on his nerves. The professor had informed him months ago that he didn’t have to ask to leave, that he could just get up and go whenever he wanted; it didn’t stop him. These days Prof. Surace didn’t even answer him. It was starting to get on Mike’s nerves as well and he was starting to wish he’d picked a seat much farther away from Roger. He wasn’t quite sure what it was, but there was just something definitely not right about the guy. “Any OTHER questions?” asked an exasperated Prof. Surace. “No? All right, class dismissed.” The class rose to leave. As they exited the lecture hall, Mike turned to Roger. “Hey, Roger, I realize the prof already told you this, but you don’t have to ask to leave. You know that, right?” “Sure, I know that,” answered Roger. “Then why do you keep asking him?” asked Dave, another of Mike’s classmates who had overheard the conversation. “Because he deserves to be annoyed,” he answered. “You probably didn’t know this, but he was involved in the assassination of Yoko Ono.” Mike frowned at him. “Idiot. Yoko Ono wasn’t assassinated, you moron. John Lennon was assassinated.” “Exactly. This is why he must pay.” Mike opened his mouth to say something, then decided against it. It would get him nowhere anyway. Instead, he simply said, “Yeeeah, see ya,” and walked away. Mike was wondering whether or not you could commit someone you barely knew when Seth stopped him in the hallway. “Hey, Seth. Say, you seem a little upset. Anything wrong?” Mike said with an evil smile. “Funny, Mike,” said Seth. “Making me shit myself in class, that was funny too.” “It was, wasn’t it?” The grin didn’t leave Mike’s face. “Yeah,” answered Seth, giving out a fake laugh. “But you know, I just thought of something even funnier.” At about this time Mike noticed two large shadows come up behind him. “I think it’s time for you to learn something, Mike,” Seth continued. “I’m the man. You do not fuck with me, or bad things happen to you.” Mike glanced behind him. Standing there were Terrell and Harrison, two of Seth’s football buddies, both of whom were much larger than he was. He considered fighting them off for a brief second, then decided escape would be a better plan. Seth chuckled. “You see, Mike, you—HEY!” Seth shouted as Mike darted right past him. “Get him!” he yelled to Terrell and Harrison. For big men, they were surprisingly fast, and before Mike had made it very far, Seth recaptured him by tackling him at the knees “All right, Mike. Ass-kicking time.” ----------------- Continue

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