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***keenspot_dropdown***	Fun Art!: Fun Fiction

Before it all Started by Kenny

“Errrggggghhhhhh,” said Dave, clutching his hands to his head. Mike raised an eyebrow. “What’s up with you?” he asked. “It’s—it’s nothing, I just have that freaking ‘MMMBop’ song stuck in my head,” Dave answered. “And that’s worth an ‘Errrggggghhhhhh?’” “I dunno. I’ve always had sort of a low threshold for bad music.” “Huh,” said Mike, unconsciously noting this fact in his mind for future reference. “Heh, that reminds me of this band I was in in high school.” “You were bad?” asked Dave. “We were terrible,” answered Mike. “We were a curse on good music. No good song will ever again be played on a stage we performed on. Anyone who touches our instruments will have the talent sucked out of them. Any band who has the same NAME as us will automatically suck.” “Say, what were you guys called anyway?” “Um, we went through a few names actually,” said Mike. “Let’s see, there was LFO, Nickle Back, Stained, Disturbed, a couple others.” Before Dave could answer, Mr. Dover walked into the classroom. “Settle down, class, settle down.” He picked up a piece of chalk and started the class as he always did, by writing a few words of inspiration on the board. This week it was “Prepare for your doom.” However, today these words had a much more concrete meaning than usual. “Okay, class, clear your desks, it’s time for a POP QUIZ,” he announced to the class. The class collectively groaned. Mr. Dover adopted a thoroughly satisfied evil grin. A fuse apparently blew in Dave’s head. “You… you…” said Mike, unable to come up with the correct words to describe this inhuman monster standing before them. “’You…’ what exactly?” asked Roger. “I don’t know,” Mike said, giving up. “I’ll figure it out later, I’ve got a test to fail right now.” * * * “Hey, you’re the Satanist guy, right?” asked Seth. Steve ignored him and kept walking. He figured this was just another person who had come make fun of him. Normally he would have told them that they wouldn’t be laughing when he was a Lieutenant Overlord in Lucifer’s personal army. However, Seth was a lot larger than he was, and he didn’t want to give the guy an excuse to beat him up. Seth hesitated for a moment, then went on. “Yeah, okay, look, I need your help.” Yeah, right, thought Steve. Bullying jocks (not to mention outright stupidity) was one of the reasons he had gotten into Satanism in the first place. Besides, he figured, this was still probably a joke anyway. Steve’s only visible response was to shoot a nasty look in Seth’s direction; other than that, he refused to acknowledge Seth’s existence. His silence only reinforced in Seth’s mind that, yes, this guy was a badass of the highest caliber. Seth took out his wallet. “I can pay you. I got money.” Steve stopped. Cautiously, he asked “How much money?” “I got a hundred dollars here. I can get more if you need it.” A hundred dollars… that would go a long way towards getting that horned headpiece Steve had his eye on. Maybe this worm was worth listening to after all. Still not certain this wasn’t some sort of prank, he asked “What do you want?” “I need you to get back at this one guy, Mike Green, for me.” “This isn’t a joke?” asked Steve. “No, I just need some help. Can you, like, curse him or something?” said Seth. “Oh, is that all?” said Steve. Oh how in Cthulhu’s name would I do something like that? thought Steve. “That’s simple. Consider it done,” said Steve, smiling confidently. This is going to take one of the hardest spells in my spellbook, I can’t do it! thought Steve. “Oh, I’m going to need the cash up front, by the way, no refunds” said Steve. Please don’t beat me up, thought Steve. “Sure, sure, take it,” said Seth, handing over the money. Steve took the money, nodded once and quickly made his escape, wondering how exactly he was going to pull this off. * * * Steve reviewed the spell for the final time and called Waldo over. “Okay, Waldo, this is how it has to be done,” Steve said, telling himself to remain calm. “Uh huh,” said Waldo, somehow looking both attentive and vacant at the same time. “First off, it has to be below the ground, so we have to do this one in the basement,” said Steve. This was possibly the worst part of the spell; he would have greatly preferred the privacy of their dorm. If they got caught, they’d be punished for Satanic rituals and even worse, breaking into the basement. Fortunately, the second part of the plan cut down on the possibility of being caught. “Second, the building has to be empty except for the two of us, so you’re going to set off the fire alarms right before we do this, all right, Waldo?” Waldo nodded his head eagerly. “Yeah! Set off the fire alarms!” “Ghk! Keep it down, you moron!” Steve half-whispered. The walls weren’t very thick here in the dormitory, and who knew if there was someone listening at the door? It was always good to take precautions. “Anyway, we’ll do it during classes when most people aren’t even in the building. After we make sure everyone’s gone, we go into the basement and start the incantation. If I say it right, we’ll get a demon, and he’ll take out this dork for us. But if I say it wr—“ At this point Steve noticed that Waldo’s attention was drifting. “Pay attention, you numbskull!” Steve said, slapping him upside the head a couple times to emphasize the point. With Waldo back focused on him, Steve started again. “Now, AS I WAS SAYING, if I say the incantation right, everything will be okay. But if I don’t say it exactly right, the book says we’ll get really unpredictable results. So, when I’m saying the incantation – and this is really important, Waldo, so pay close attention – I need you to shut up. Can you do that, Waldo?” Waldo wagged his head up and down again. “Good,” said Steve, satisfied. “Now go get the paint and the candles, and the coleslaw. Oh, and the curling iron, get that too.” While Waldo ran off to prepare the supplies, Steve sat down to practice his lines. Tomorrow was going to be a big day. ----------------- Continue

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